Being able to persuade and influence people is a powerful skill to have. You can make more money, get more dates, and be more effective in your daily life. Because you are reading this article, you’ll soon be persuading others like a Jedi.
The first step is to generate something called “rapport.” This is that feeling of deep connection you feel sometimes when you feel really close to somebody. An old friend, a teacher, an Internet article writer. Some expert salespeople can create this feeling rather quickly.
To do this, you simply match everything you can about the person you are going to persuade. Body language, speech patterns, posture, everything.
After you’ve established your connection in their world, it’s time to get their criteria, or trance words. These are the words that are beneath the answers they usually give about what’s important to them. What’s important about going to Hawaii? I want to relax with my family. What’s important about relaxing with your family? We really improve our relationships. What’s important about that? We can share our lives. Of course, pepper these questions over the conversation. Don’t rapid fire them like a police interrogation on Law and Order.
The third step is to show them how doing what you want them to do, (your outcome) they will achieve their criteria. Again, this is much easier than it sounds. For example, if it’s a date, and the word you get is “happiness,” you can explain how your niece or nephew feels really happy when they are with you.
It’s best to elicit three or four words that you could use as leverage, and spread them out throughout your conversation. Also, try and describe whatever it is you want them to do in different terminology, so they don’t think you are hitting them over the head with an agenda or anything.
Also it can be helpful when linking their criteria to your outcome, to use a story from the past where somebody just like them did what you want them to, and felt or experienced the feeling or emotion they want to experience. It’s much easier that way to slip it under their radar, so you won’t get caught.
So here you have the simple three steps to persuasion and influence. Of course, like any other skill, this takes practice. And the more you practice, the better you’ll get. Once you get to a certain level, you’ll be amazed how well this stuff works.
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